After accidentally falling asleep last night while listening to some music, my eyes shot open at 11:30pm in immediate panic. A thought was overtaking me that I hadn’t yet allowed to permeate into my conscious thoughts- I am going to be alone in two days. In the middle of the rainforest. Speaking only Spanish. For a pretty. Long. Time. Before this jolt of fear, I had really only let myself be excited by the amazing opportunity, and to meet my community and host family. And while that excitement is still at the forefront of my mind, this creeping panic inched its way in there, too.
To be fair to myself, yesterday was a very long day. In the morning, a few fellow interns and I met up in Quito for first time, and were picked up by a taxi at 8am. We drove nearly four hours through highlands, cloud forests, the Paramo (the Andean tundra ecosystem), to finally reach our rainforest. The ride was very bumpy and windy, and I was constantly being thrown from one neighbor to the other in the back seat. After what seemed like a full day, we finally arrived in Tena, a city of about 25,000 people around noon, my butt sore and my mind clouded. Our organization leaders met us and we all got a delicious lunch, gave some introductions and got an overview of our week. We’d be staying in Tena for the next three nights, and would be dropped off with our individual communities outside of the city on Thursday afternoon. After our introduction, we were sent on a scavenger hunt around the city, and the neighboring town, without our local leaders, to find important buildings and bus stops that we should know. We weren’t allowed to use our phones for help, which required us to ask locals on the street where each location was. While the task sounded daunting, every person we asked for help was more than willing to answer our questions. So far, I’ve learned that Ecuadorians are very friendly and giving people, and that played in our favor for the nearly four hours that we spent getting lost and unlost in an unfamiliar place. After our exhausting adventure, we met back up with our leaders and had amazing tacos a block down from where we were staying. While eating, we had a conversation about risk management and emergency protocols- and after a full day of traveling, feeling lost and confused, and getting nervous about the upcoming weeks, this conversation got my heart racing. From encountering dangerous bugs and animals in the jungle, to keeping yourself out of unsafe situations at night in the city, I felt like I really did not know what I was getting myself into. Mom, before you freak out: the risks are relatively low, in reality. A lot of dangers in the US that I am used to preparing myself for, are worse than the ones I may be at risk of here. And I will have a host family and community, as well as my organization leaders and fellow interns, supporting me and looking out for me. But in this moment, we had to speak about the possibilities of being confronted with a danger, and it felt more daunting than I was ready for. Flash forward to nearly midnight, waking up to my heart racing and my mind warning, what have you done. Suddenly I was doubting my ability to do this internship. Hard. I tossed and turned for a bit, trying to push away my fears and anxiety, before coming to the conclusion that I just needed to take this day by day. The anticipation of meeting my family was definitely adding to my stress, as I keep trying to imagine in my head what my family and room and community will act and look like. But like I told myself before I got on my plane to Quito, I’m going to have to roll with the punches and realize I’m not going to know a lot of realities until I’m right in the thick of them. And making expectations and falsehoods in my head will only make it harder to adjust, so I have to try to stop imagining the future and instead, breathe in the present moment. So today, that’s what I tried to do. I got delicious breakfast, I learned a lot about Ecuadorian and Amazonian culture for a few hours, I ate a traditional maito dish (fish steamed in a leaf, with tomato, onions, yucca and other sides) and tried a chontocuro (actually really flavorful when you don’t think about the squirming worm it once was). I hiked in the rain through the jungle for the first time, which was steep and slippery and sticky and beautiful. I sat at the bottom of a waterfall and got my toes wet in the refreshingly cold water. And I looked up to the top of the waterfall, and the canopy surrounding the flowing water, and felt like I was really going to be okay. I’m going to be pushed, and I’m going to feel uncomfortable, and I’m going to get tired often. But I am also going to learn more here every day than I could ever learn in my safe space at home. Just on the hike alone, a local who was our guide was teaching us about all the different plants, and their uses, and funny stories behind them. Her kindness and openness reminded me that those people and opportunities for learning are going to be surrounding me every day. So I’m okay with having a few midnight wake up calls, if that means I’ll soon have a new place to call home in Ecuador. Ps- if any specific questions about my experience arise when you’re reading my posts, don’t be afraid to comment or message me!
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In one short day, I will be on a flight to Ecuador, where I'll be residing for eight weeks in an indigenous Amazonian community. Hard to believe from where I'm sitting, on my bed, staring at my half empty suitcase and chaotic room. The disheveled state of my floors and dresser represents my brain's cluttered thoughts well. A few sentences that are continuing to surface include:
Before I leave, I want to present all the facts I have about my internship, my few expectations and pieces of advice I've been given. My internship will take place through an organization called Amazon Learning. They have helped to connect me with GIZ, the German international development agency. They are working on many projects in Ecuador, but their main goal is to protect the indigenous people and plants from the threats of climate change. To my knowledge, I will be having conversations with the indigenous population about their specialized knowledge regarding their seed health, and how their chakras, or traditional agroforestry systems have been changing with the climate. I will be living with a family of 5 children and 1 grandchild. I will have the opportunity to play soccer with the locals most nights, or instead to watch. I am going to eat a lot of rice and hard boiled eggs. I will undoubtedly get diarrhea (sorry, but I've been told so many times already, I couldn't leave it out). I will shower and wash my clothes in the river. I'll play hide and seek with children, and hold a lot of babies. I'll learn about the community's growing cacao tourism industry, and help welcome other visitors. I will wake up very early. I will sweat a lot. I'll feel awkward and out of place for a while. I am going to learn about myself, and about the kindhearted Kichwa people. The rest I can't predict, but can welcome with an open heart. I'm terrified, and excited, and am so grateful for this opportunity. And no, I'm not passing up the chontacuro. I know for a fact I can’t get gourmet worms in NOVA. |
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AuthorI'm a 21 year old university student, studying geography and food security, and spending a semester in Ecuador interning with Amazon Learning. ArchivesCategories |